The first lessons are about finding yourself and becoming whole.
You begin to introspect and ask, 'Is there something wrong with me? You may accept this false evaluation - perhaps because of the authority or dominance of the other person.Invalidation is to reject, ignore, mock, tease, judge, control or diminish someone's feelings.It is an attempt to control how they feel and for how long they feel it.Constant invalidation may be one of the most significant reasons a person with high innate emotional intelligence suffers from unmet emotional needs later in life.' When another person wrongly evaluates or misunderstands your communications or your state of mind, naturally this is upsetting. If you ignore your own feelings and believe they must be right, you begin to follow their will, not your own.A part of you has identified with the other person and split from the real you. This very commonly occurs with children, where they take on the characteristics of their parents.
It is also very frequent in relationships where one partner adjusts to match the other's expectations. When our goals are suppressed by another - however well meant - it is eventually life destroying.
Negative evaluations (personal criticisms, opinions) by another especially at times of stress can cause extreme upset.
Most of us wonder why the populations in the world who seem to have the greatest mobility and most material possessions are suffering from the yoke of despair and depression. As human beings we need to be both independent and interdependent.
We need to feel a sense of love and of contribution.
If either are missing we are sad, we are defeated, we are joyless.
In his article 'Invalidation may be the most damaging form of emotional abuse,' Steve Hein describes invalidation as follows...