Connection gay dating
When I get home from work and realize the silence of the end of the day, I open one of the many dating or sex-based apps I have — programs that provide literally thousands of people for me to choose from as a possible match to my personality.
Like many LGBT folk, I flocked to a liberal university in a liberal city to feel accepted, but I found gay communities closed-off to LGBT youth.We all crave connection and intimacy, but there is nowhere for freshly out young gay men to connect.Feeling alone in a big city, walking from building to building without making a connection, I desperately wanted to meet like-minded individuals, but I found myself resorting to these apps to do that.But instead of advancing the gay agenda of inclusion, I found the apps to perpetuate what people scorn about LGBT: promiscuity, impersonal behavior, and sexually motivated conversations.This is not the fault of the LGBT community, but these depersonalized conversations are what lead to depersonalized relationships.When an introduction to gay culture is through a sex-based app, it perpetuates the sex-based stereotype.
Because LGBT still face shame and disownment, our coming out is plagued with fear that we will lose those we love, which leads to a shame-based idea of relationships.
Each dating app focuses on a different demographic, with Ok Cupid, Tinder, and Grindr thriving as probably the three most popular in the mainstream gay community.
Ok Cupid is for the romantics looking for dates, Tinder is where you browse pictures and compare common Facebook interests before deciding to meet; and Grindr allows one picture and a brief description for guys who are looking for temporary company.
I never thought of approaching dating through this screening process, but many people inadvertently find themselves becoming a part of the hook-up culture.
Compared to traditional dating methods, these apps provide many advantages: you save time on bad blind dates and boring conversations, you can connect to someone anytime you feel lonely, and if you are rejected you simply move on to the next person.
But because there are thousands of people at your fingertips, it also creates a society of oversharing, superficiality, and instant gratification.